He hee! We don't think any of you will actually use any of these lines … today's post is more a celebration of cheese, schmaltz, and sleaze, than actual advice to do something or not. We're looking at some of the worst (and therefore, most hilarious!) pickup lines to come out ofnightclubs in London in recent times. Read them and use them with a very particular state of mind, immortalized by Homer Simpson: "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try". Especially these pickup lines!
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together"
Ugh! Pure schmaltz! A blatant invitation for girls at a London nightclub to stare in disbelief, then laugh and turn away because they know you can't be serious.
"If I followed you home, would you keep me?"
There has been a single, solitary reported success with this line … so perhaps all is not lost! Make sure you say it with a hint of self-deprecation, though.
"Are those space pants? Cos your ass is out of this world!"
*Shudder* Back away slowly from the guy that says this …
"Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?"
(Rolls eyes …)
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
Argh! Don't touch me!
Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine
Girl: Well, I looked at you and then threw up in mine …
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!
Can any ordinary man even say this with a straight face?
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
Must be delivered wearing a lab cat and holding a clipboard.
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Ha haa! Funny the first time you hear it … not so much on the hundredth time
Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it. (With thanks to Beavis and Butthead!)
One of the more honest ones!
And don't forget our single most truly recommended pickup line - the flower that grew out of a pot of manure …
"Wow."
This one is just so simple. It sounds like a genuine heartfelt compliment … gets the 'picking up' out of the way so you guys can just chat. Feel free to try this one at your London night club this weekend!
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